Source - The Rooster:
Just when we thought we’d heard it all when it came to condom flavors, someone sent us a big fat email with “Cannadom: The Cannabis Flavored Condom” in the subject line.
We instantly screamed at the secretary to close the door and hold our calls. Can you blame us for thinking it might be a cannabis dominatrix service?
We opened the email.
We inhaled expectantly …
… and saw this:
The only product description offered on the Cannadom site is this: “Green in colour with a realistic cannabis flavour and smell. 1 condom, with free shipping!”
Ok, coupl’a things …
First, we know we’re supposed to promote safe sex, because “safe sex is great sex and you don’t want that late text that text that says “I’m late” text,” but who the fuck gives head with condoms? If you do, that’s great. High five. You’re a miracle of modern prophylactics and you’re doing a lot better than the rest of us. We bet you have two beautiful children and a French bulldog or something. But for the rest of us who’ve already bought real estate in hell … the Cannadom will not be adorning any penis of ours or our partners … unless we can’t find our rolling papers.
Second, we don’t know if you’ve ever craved the skunky must of weed … wait, actually we do. You haven’t. You’ve smoked weed and you’ve eaten it when the flavor is disguised by edibles, but you’ve never, ever wanted to slide a weed nugget up and down your tongue, especially when that weed nugget is actually just flavored lube and some guy is holding your hair like pigtails going “UUUUHHHNNNNNNN.”
Third, it has a smell. Why does it have a smell?
Actually, now that we think about it … beggars can’t be choosers when it comes to office products. Fuck it, send us a 1,000-pack. Then send yourself one. Then send one to the world. Let’s end AIDS with smelly weed lube. Weed is like time, it cures all.